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men's rules (for women to learn)

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TotalKhasma

Post subject: men's rules (for women to learn)

Posted: 25. 11. 2005. 22:27

Joined: 26. 07. 2004. 12:54
Posts: 2790

Men's Rules (that women should know)

1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

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Amita

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 00:20

Joined: 08. 10. 2005. 22:56
Posts: 1244
Location: NYC

opet stvari kojima se bave obicni smrtnici...i koji pretpostavljam citaju kozmo i ostale pozerske casopise

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stari serator

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 00:21

Joined: 02. 09. 2003. 17:08
Posts: 10631

nah, prije bi reko da su to samo cinjenice...

ali ono sto je bitnije jest, cime se to bave neobicni smrtnici?

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TotalKhasma

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 00:23

Joined: 26. 07. 2004. 12:54
Posts: 2790

KoldVoid wrote:

nah, prije bi reko da su to samo cinjenice...

ali ono sto je bitnije jest, cime se to bave neobicni smrtnici?

citaju zajebanu literaturu i ne pricaju puno, pamet isijava iz njih, tesko ih je razumjeti.... you know what i'm sayin

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Archangel

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 00:59

Joined: 02. 06. 2003. 00:22
Posts: 4350
Location: Å iroki Brijeg

KoldVoid wrote:

nah, prije bi reko da su to samo cinjenice...

Totalno.. bloody true..

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Gunsy

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 01:18

Joined: 27. 10. 2004. 21:41
Posts: 1914
Location: The Coast Of Malabar (zagreb)

opet si ovim dokazah da nisam tipicno zensko..zapravo, daleko sam od toga.. ajme strasno

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Zeleni.Zub

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 01:27

Joined: 20. 09. 2004. 20:26
Posts: 427
Location: Valhalla

ae ne pizdi sminkerice, jedino sta te izvlaci iz mora sminkerica je sta pijes pivu(o:

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stari serator

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 01:48

Joined: 02. 09. 2003. 17:08
Posts: 10631

khasma wrote:

KoldVoid wrote:

nah, prije bi reko da su to samo cinjenice...

ali ono sto je bitnije jest, cime se to bave neobicni smrtnici?

citaju zajebanu literaturu i ne pricaju puno, pamet isijava iz njih, tesko ih je razumjeti.... you know what i'm sayin

jao taki su mi na listi najdrazih...volim ljude koji su funkcionalni kao dekor...

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Gunsy

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 02:06

Joined: 27. 10. 2004. 21:41
Posts: 1914
Location: The Coast Of Malabar (zagreb)

Zeleni.Zub wrote:

ae ne pizdi sminkerice, jedino sta te izvlaci iz mora sminkerica je sta pijes pivu(o:

cuj ti njega

nije stvar u obleki..nego u ponashanju i nekim stajalistima.. al eto tako. aj hev visak kromosoma iks

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Zeleni.Zub

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 02:08

Joined: 20. 09. 2004. 20:26
Posts: 427
Location: Valhalla

ma gle ja sam ti odma reko cim cura pije pivu to mi je "bliza", aeae nije bambus los ali ono, piva nije pice to je stanje svijesti..

sminkerico... samo kako opravdavas onda na spici svojim frendicama kad pijes pivu? ili to samo radit u "izabranom" drustvu?

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Gunsy

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 02:15

Joined: 27. 10. 2004. 21:41
Posts: 1914
Location: The Coast Of Malabar (zagreb)

na spici

.. ne izlazim ja na takva mjesta

a i vecina mojih frednica pije pivu.. dobro, vishe bambus.. ja sam pivopija u drustvu

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Zeleni.Zub

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 02:26

Joined: 20. 09. 2004. 20:26
Posts: 427
Location: Valhalla

krvopija rekao bih? ti bis trebala davat krv dobrovoljno da vratis bar ono malo sta popijes ljudima. sminkerice (vanjska)...

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Gunsy

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 02:28

Joined: 27. 10. 2004. 21:41
Posts: 1914
Location: The Coast Of Malabar (zagreb)

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Amita

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 03:29

Joined: 08. 10. 2005. 22:56
Posts: 1244
Location: NYC

Quote:

ali ono sto je bitnije jest, cime se to bave neobicni smrtnici?

pa... sigurno se ne zamaraju glupostima tipa 'prokuzi mozak suprotnog pola', to su ratnici-putnici koji prihvataju izazove ili ih izazovi rasture

ljudi koji se mole Bogu, a veslaju prema obali :wink:

bar je to moje vidjenje neobicnih smrtnika

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Thy light

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 04:38

Joined: 08. 08. 2003. 14:52
Posts: 2017

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stari serator

Post subject:

Posted: 26. 11. 2005. 12:31

Joined: 02. 09. 2003. 17:08
Posts: 10631

amita wrote:

Quote:

ali ono sto je bitnije jest, cime se to bave neobicni smrtnici?

pa... sigurno se ne zamaraju glupostima tipa 'prokuzi mozak suprotnog pola', to su ratnici-putnici koji prihvataju izazove ili ih izazovi rasture

ljudi koji se mole Bogu, a veslaju prema obali :wink:

bar je to moje vidjenje neobicnih smrtnika

Draga Amita,

Kao veliki romanticar u dusi, a bogami i genima, jebiga it runs in the family, cesto sam pokusavao naci "dublju poantu" iza pokusaja prenosenja svojih gena u buducnost, ali na kraju sam shvatio da je to sve samo dekoracija jednog prilicno reptilskog akta...

Dervisi i Sveci su ulgavnom muskarci i ujedno Junuci...

nazalost vi sa viskom X kromosoma nemate te kapacitete napustanja....

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Amita

Post subject:

Posted: 28. 11. 2005. 21:06

Joined: 08. 10. 2005. 22:56
Posts: 1244
Location: NYC

e sad ja ne znam je li to zbog viska x hromosoma ili sto sam rodjena kao plavusa, al' te ne kuzim

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stari serator

Post subject:

Posted: 28. 11. 2005. 22:53

Joined: 02. 09. 2003. 17:08
Posts: 10631

plavusa je samo metastaza prve bolesti

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Amita

Post subject:

Posted: 29. 11. 2005. 02:32

Joined: 08. 10. 2005. 22:56
Posts: 1244
Location: NYC

ahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaahaa imas divan smisao za humor hahahahaahahaha

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Black Ofca

Post subject:

Posted: 29. 11. 2005. 06:01

Joined: 03. 04. 2004. 04:50
Posts: 870

Pardon, zene nemaju visak kromosoma x. Samo imaju kromosom x umjesto kromosoma y kojeg imaju muskarci u spolnom paru. Visak kromosoma x je moguc i kod zena i muskaraca. Al to je onda vec genetski poremecaj

Jel tak, Rajko? :wink:

Naime, to je gradivo biologije iz prvog polugodsita prvog razreda gimnazije. :twisted:

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